The Marauders and the Order
by Viviana1
Summary: A series glimpses into the past. Follow James, Remus, Sirius, Peter, Lily, and Severus before Lord Voldemort's first rise to power was complete but after the formal establishment of the Death Eaters.
"Are you ready, my love?" Asked Lily's mother as she held her daughter's face in her hands.

"Yeah, I am." She replied with a wide smile.

"Oh, good. I will see you in the church." Her mother kissed her forehead and left the dressing room.

Lily looked at herself in the mirror. It was really happening. This morning she woke up Lily Evans, tonight she would go to sleep as Lily Potter. Excitement swelled inside her. She heard the door open.

"Did you forget something?" She called over her shoulder. Her mother didn't answer. She turned and gasped,

"Severus." Her excitment plummeted to a deep dread. "What are you doing here?"

"How could _you_ not invite me?" he asked sourly. Every word in his tone seemed to cut into her like knives.

"Because you don't want to be here." she answered weakly.

There was a silence that seemed to confirm it.

"How can you have _him_?" he asked harshly.

Lily exhaled, "He's a good man."

"Good!" He replied sarcastically. "He's a punk. He doesn't deserve you."

"And you do?" she snapped. "Severus, he picked on you in school. He was young and stupid, and he tried to apologize to you-"

 _"I don't want any of his apologies!"_

Lily paused before she started again, "He _was_ mean and he was a _kid_. But he learned from it. You are a man now, and you torture people-there is a clear difference!"

"I didn't torture that girl!" Snape shouted and turned to hit the wall behind him.

Lily rose from her vanity seat and approached him.

"Look at me."

He turned, reluctantly. She studied his face for some time and half way laughed, "See," she said, "there it is, that face."

"What do you mean?" he demanded.

Lily waited awhile before explaining. Like she was afraid to speak. "Do you remember," she said at length, "when we were kids?"

Snape nodded.

"You used to tell me all about Hogwarts and the magical world...Do you remember when you told me I was muggle-born and I _asked_ you if that was a problem? You said no, but you made that face."

Snape froze.

"Do you remember when I asked you if you were a Death Eater? You denied it and you made that same face again. You're lying to me, Severus. You did torture that woman, to within an inch of her sanity."

Snape tore himself away from her gaze and moved across the room.

"I just don't understand it." Lily finished.

"It's complicated."

There was along pause in which both parties could feel the distance between them grow.

"It shouldn't be." Lily replied, "it should be quite simple."

Snape turned.

"I can't change who my parents are," Lily continued, "or who I am. I am muggle-born, a mudblood. You're a Death Eater. You can't take that Mark of your arm or change your allegiance any more than I can. By _your_ definition we are enemies. You should be trying to kill me and 'purge this world of at least one more mudblood.'

Snape shook his head, "I would _never_ hurt you." his tone was almost threateningly firm.

Lily swallowed, "But you would hurt people like me."

Snape dropped his head, unable to dispute the fact.

"I've chosen my side." she proclaimed, "you've chosen yours. Why does it have to be complicated?"

Snape rose his head that revealed his horrified expression, "What are you saying?"

Lily took awhile to answer again. She hated the words she was about to say, however true they may be. She hated that she would have to scar her old friend so deeply, but it had to be done. She took a deep breath, "You're not the Severus I grew up with. The Severus I knew and loved wouldn't hurt a fly. Where did _he_ go?"

Snape opened his mouth, but no words came out.

"It doesn't matter. He's gone, and it doesn't look like he'll ever be back...So just leave."

"NO!" he shouted desperately.

"Please."

"No."

Lily didn't know what to do. She needed him gone so that her wedding day could continue. She went for the low blow,"Won't your _master_ be needing you soon?"

Snape didn't answer, again proving she was right.

"Go." she said sympathetically.

"No." he whispered.

"Severus-"

"No."

Lily could hear the tears in his voice. Pity flowed through her, "Please-"

Snape crossed the room and took her hands in his, "We'll, we'll work something out. If I-"

"Severus!" She freed her hands and backed away from him, "It's over." She could practically feel the damage she was inflicting and began to tear up as well. She took a moment to recover herself, "I love James. I'm going to marry him."

Snape stared pitifully at the floor, "But _I_ love you."

They remained silent for some time. Lily had guessed as much, but this was the first time Severus had ever said it aloud.

"I'm sorry." was all she could think to say.

Snape nodded bitterly. He walked back to the door.

"I'll always care for you." Lily added.

Snape stopped. "Right." he said and walked out the door, closing it gently behind him.

"Goodbye." Lily whispered.


End file.
